Finding a way to tell that person for the first time is my biggest challenge.
I’ve realized over the years that there isn’t a specific time when you tell someone, it’s whenever feels right. I waited until the person got to know me better and it felt that it was leading to something more.
I’ve had my eyes on him for the past year but was too nervous to ask him out in person so when I found him online, I asked him out there and so happy I did. I told him about my ostomy sooner than I had originally thought I would but the timing felt right.
I would say I was fortunate enough that he works in the medical field and knows what an ostomy is.
It was hard not to assume that it was related to the news I just told them. I’ve been on dating sites on and off for the past few years. As I get older, I’ll only mention it if I see it leading to a relationship.
I recently met someone online and we also happen to work together (kind of).
The nurse had been asking me about school and my friends, and then she leaned across the table, reached her hands out towards mine, lowered her voice and said, “And you know, you can still have a boyfriend and stuff.”I remember smirking at her, nodding along, but the thought had been far from my mind.
I hadn’t been thinking of dating and first kisses when I had decided to have surgery, and to be perfectly honest, had not thought twice about it.
I took time off work to physically heal and put school on hold. Unfortunately, but not surprising, I didn’t hear from any of those men again. Most people I dated had no idea what Crohn’s disease or Ulcerative Colitis was let alone an ostomy. I usually started with “Have you heard of Crohn’s disease or Ulcerative Colitis? I’d get the occasional “yes” and that would make it somewhat easier. Needless to say, very few of the men I dated asked any questions after I told them and many of them, I saw maybe once or twice and then for some reason stopped talking to me.
Dating & Relationships I never thought I could date or have a serious relationship with an ostomy until I did.
The dating scene can be stressful and often causes the fear of rejection (and that’s without an ostomy) so entering the scene after having surgery can feel a bit intimidating.
I have debated for a while about writing a post on sex.
I know my parents and my parents-in-law and even my grandparents read my blog (I’m giving you fair warning that this is one post you can skip!
Like I said, one of my first questions once I decided to go through with the surgery was, “how is this going to affect my sex life?