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If there is no physical contact or actual sex, is it still an affair?“It’s not just that you’re communicating with someone online but that there is a sexual or emotional nature,” says Katherine Hertlein, Ph D, an associate professor at the University of Nevada in Las Vegas who studies online affairs.While men traditionally have been the more unfaithful sex, gender roles are reversing in some cases as more women experience cybersex.“I think there is this bias that women don’t cheat for sexual reasons at all,” Hertlein says.Meeting Women Online Flirting Online Sealing the Deal Community Q&A Want to know how to cultivate a magnetic and electric personality that'll make women want to be with you?You can learn to meet women, thrill them with your virtual chatting skills, and seal the deal for a hook-up.An episode of the MTV reality series “Catfish: The TV Show” featured Aaron, a gay man who had pretended to be a woman online to seduce a straight guy into explicit online conversation.When the hoax was revealed, Aaron said by way of explanation, “I don’t even want to be gay to be honest.”And finally, Suler offers that some men pretending to be women online might be trans and “drawn to virtual gender-switching” (although, I’d like to note that if a trans person identifies as female then it’s not actually gender- when they present as female online).
In the 2004 academic article titled “Do Boys (and Girls) Just Wanna Have Fun?
“The gender-switched male may even like the feeling of power and control over other males that goes along with this switch.” (Somewhat relatedly, Suler suggests that being a female in certain online games “may be advantageous.”) For some, posing as a woman online is a form of detective work,” he says.
“Some males may adopt a feminine identity to investigate male/female relationships.”Then there is the possibility of repressed same-sex desires: “Disguised as a female, a male looking for intimacy, romance, and/or cybersex from another male may be acting upon conscious or unconscious homosexual feelings.” This brings to mind the recent example of Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, who says he tricked Manti Te’o into believing that he was a woman — online and by phone — because he was secretly in love with the Notre Dame linebacker.
I was a latecomer to counselling, having previously considered therapy a largely American pursuit. By the time I reached that landmark age, without children and in a marriage that was beginning to lose its fairytale glow, my daily life was beginning to feel not unlike a soap opera.
And I did, pretty much, and I was perfectly fine - until suddenly I wasn't.
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